At the library conversation

A: I’m so frustrated. I can’t find any books on my research topic at my library.

B: Why don’t you try a different library?

A: I don’t want to waste gas money.

B: But you might find your book.

A: What library do you suggest?

B: I suggest the one near my house.

A: That is way too far for me.

B: They have a lot of books. That library has never disappointed me.

A: I have an idea! Why don’t you borrow them for me?

B: I don’t know about that. What if you lose the books?

A: I won’t. I swear on my life.

B: Wow, you’re so serious.


A: This is a great book you’re checking out.

B: You have read it?

A: Read it? I memorized it! It’s one of my favorites.

B: That’s good to know.

A: You should check out more books.

B: I can check out more than one?

A: Of course! It would be crazy if you could only get one book.

B: That’s awesome! I’ll be back.

A: Don’t go crazy now. The limit is 15 books.

B: Don’t worry. I’ll probably come back with 5 more books.

A: It’s great to see a kid excited about reading.

B: Yeah, most kids hate reading. They’re more into television.

A: Now, you can only check out this magazine for one week.

B: Why one week? I thought the borrowing time was two weeks.

A: That’s for books only.

B: Oh, that’s weird.

A: Well, it doesn’t take that long to finish a magazine.

B: I know, but I like to take my time.

A: I don’t make the rules. Would you like to check it out?

B: Yes, I’d like to check it out.

A: Interesting magazine choice. Reading about celebrities is not really smart of you.

B: Don’t judge me. I can’t read educational stuff all the time.

A: I do! I read Time and National Geographic.

B: Everyone’s taste is different.

A: How long do you want to check that video out for?

B: One week would be nice.

A: That will be $5.

B: What?! I thought I could check out videos for free.

A: You can check out educational videos for free.

B: This is bogus.

A: It’s still not a bad price.

B: Okay, what if I only borrow it for a day?

A: It will be $2.

B: Okay, here’s $2. So much for a library that services the public.

A: I hope you enjoy the movie.

B: For 2 bucks, I’d better love the movie.

A: There’s a huge rip here.

B: But there’s tape on it!

A: Did you put the tape there?

B: No, it was there before.

A: I know you’re lying to me.

B: If you know, then why did you ask if I put the tape on?

A: I wanted to see if you were a liar or not.

B: How did you know I’m lying?

A: Before you check out the book, the librarian checks it for damage.

B: Wow, you guys think of everything.

A: Yes. Anyways, you owe $10.

B: Fine, here you go.

A: Here are the books I’m returning.

B: Looks like they’re late. The late fee is $5.

A: Okay, I’m only one minute late.

B: One minute late, one month late, one year late, it doesn’t matter.

A: Are you kidding me? There’s a big difference between one minute and one month.

B: Look, the point is – they’re late.

A: Screw you! I ain’t payin $5.

B: I guess you’ll never borrow another book, magazine, or video here ever again.

A: It’s okay, because I don’t even like this library.

B: This library doesn’t like you either!

A: I am leaving! You are plain rude.

B: Leave! Nobody wants to see you.

A: Miss, you have been using the computer for over an hour now.

B: I know, I’m sorry.

A: Are you looking for something?

B: I’m researching for my project.

A: Can you come back tomorrow? Your daily computer limit time is up.

B: I don’t have a computer at home.

A: I’m sorry to hear that, but other people need to use the computer, too.

B: My project is due very soon. I need to research.

A: How about books? This is a library after all.

B: I looked for books on my project. They’re not good at all.

A: Maybe you don’t know how to look for good books. I’ll help you.

B: Thank you. I appreciate it.

A: How much do I need to insert here to make one copy?

B: It depends. Do you want your copy in color or black and white?

A: I want it in color.

B: Then it will be 20 cents per page.

A: That’s kind of expensive.

B: Yeah, but most of us don’t have a copy machine of our own.

A: I have one, but it’s broken.

B: That sucks. Well, if money’s an issue, you can copy your stuff in black and white.

A: No, it has to be color.

B: Do you really not have 20 cents?

A: I do, but I’m really cheap.

B: Well, you don’t really have a choice at this point.

A: Why is the printer line so long?

B: It’s finals week.

A: Oh yeah, you’re right.

B: This happens every year, so I got smarter.

A: What do you mean?

B: I printed my stuff for finals at home.

A: Oh, that is smart. I have to get in line now.

B: What do you have to print?

A: I have to print some notes.

B: Good luck. You’ll be waiting here for a long time.

A: I bet the ink and paper will go out.

B: If that happens, you’re in trouble.

A: Can you please shut up?

B: Maybe if you ask nicely, I will!

A: This is a library, so you have to shut up.

B: I didn’t know laughing was a crime.

A: It’s a crime in the library.

B: You’re just jealous, because I’m having a good time, and you’re not.

A: No, that’s not it at all.

B: I’ll shut up if you say you’re sorry.

A: Sorry for what? If anything, you should say sorry.

B: Okay, fine. I’m sorry that your parents didn’t teach you how to be nice.

A: That does it. I’m getting a librarian.

B: Go get one!

A: Do you have a restroom?

B: Only for employees.

A: But I really need to go.

B: I can’t let you go. There’s a restroom in the market across from us though.

A: That restroom is really dirty. It smells like someone died in there.

B: Fine, I’ll take you to our restroom.

A: Yay! Thank you so much.

B: We have to go secretly. If anyone sees you use the restroom, I’ll be fired.

A: Don’t worry. I will be small and quiet as a mouse.

B: Okay, good. The password is 595. Go quickly before anyone sees you.

A: Thank you for your kindness.

B: You owe me if we ever see each other again.

A: You should volunteer at the library with me!

B: What’s so good about volunteering there?

A: It’s fun, and you feel good about yourself.

B: What do you do there?

A: Everyone does different things. I organize events.

B: What kind of events?

A: Movies, art and crafts, magic shows, and more.

B: That does sound fun!

A: Do you want to sign up?

B: Yeah, how do I sign up?

A: I’ll get you an application.

A: I can’t study at home, because my family talks so loudly.

B: Study at the library.

A: Can you focus in there?

B: Yes, it’s always really quiet.

A: I’ll go today.

B: Make sure you get a good seat.

A: Are there not enough seats for everyone?

B: It depends on when you go.

A: I’m going at 1:00 a.m.

B: Dude, it’s not even open that late.

A: But that’s the best time for me.

B: You can always try a cafe. They tend to close late or not at all.

A: You can’t check out this one. It’s a reference book.

B: What does that mean?

A: It means you can only read it in the library.

B: But I need it for my essay.

A: You can take pictures of the pages you need.

B: I need almost all of them.

A: You can keep coming back here.

B: That’s so inconvenient.

A: It is, but they have to be kept here.

B: I guess I can take pictures of the pages then.

A: Sorry about the inconvenience.

B: It is okay. It’s not your fault.

A: Ew! Look what I found in this book.

B: What is that?

A: It’s a dead bug.

B: It’s all squished and messy.

A: I can’t read this book without being disgusted.

B: But don’t you really want to check out this book?

A: I do, but I really can’t.

B: I’ll check it out then.

A: You can read it without being disgusted?

B: Yeah, I’ll just skip that page.

A: There could be something really interesting on it.

B: Whatever! I’m just going to check out the book.